In light of the next GOP debate tomorrow (hosted by NBC and Facebook) I'd like to ponder a few basic and obvious questions that candidates should be expected to answer. Hopefully, given the nature of this particular debate that relies upon Facebook user interaction, we can finally get some clarity.
1. It's easy to say you'll "fix the economy." It's easy to throw in some charged up rhetoric and get people excited about you. And honestly, it's easy to lay out your plan to do so, because, as a serious presidential candidate, you obviously have viable solutions up your sleeve. So, clearly and concisely, explain to the American people how you will improve our nation's economic situation.
2. Let's talk foreign policy. Explain why it does or does not matter that Iran seeks to proliferate. Explain why we are still obligated to blindly support Israel even as they commit human rights violations (or do they?). Explain why North Korea matters, either as a threat or as an opportunity to help the world or what have you. Explain why we can't legalize marijuana to reduce border violence with Mexico or lay off sanctions to build a relationship with Cuba. Explain why exactly Hugo Chavez is the enemy.
And no, I'm not kidding about any of that. Our foreign policy should be dynamic, pragmatic, and, most of all, conceived to serve America's best interests. It shouldn't be set in stone. Instead it reminds me of this Family Guy clip in which Peter and the chicken realize they don't even remember why they're enemies. And even though they start fighting again... at least it's because of a new conflict.
3. Why do social issues even matter? This goes out to Rick Santorum. Heck, even this cringe-worthy attempt at journalism from Fox News (which I don't necessarily blame on the network -- I like Fox for some aspects of their coverage) refers to "Santorum’s appeal to women and evangelicals." That's his base -- and I'd warrant women only really when they happen to also be strongly conservative. His supporters are in favor of a campaign strategy which he proclaims is based on maintaining traditional social conventions. But why should this be key to constituents? He claims everything that he so reviles (see: gays, abortion, contraception, welfare and possibly black people) is a states' rights issue anyway. To the more moderate candidates, same question. Do these discussions have any place in a presidential race?
4. We all seem allergic to substantive debate, but allow me to try this one: What energy policy do you support to keep our country running? Are you another Big Oil puppet? Are you a fan of any and all alternative fuels? Should it vary by region? Nuclear power: yea or nay?
5. Republicans don't seem to care too much about our public education, but the people do. What will you do with the Department of Education? Federal funding? State standards?
What I'd really love is having inter-party debates. Poll the audience on GOP participants and pick three or so, give a wild card to Republican former Louisiana governor Buddy Roemer, add Libertarian candidate and former New Mexico governor Gary Johnson, and get Obama in for good measure. If you want to make things really exciting... let some non-candidates debate. Have the voters directly challenge the next POTUS. Make the suits (or sweater vests, as the case may be) a little bit uncomfortable. They need the practice.
And, as always, I'd like to quickly make the case for Americans Elect. Maybe if some people can see that the media's chosen candidates don't represent their views, those people can seek out options they actually like.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The Truth About Iowa
Thanks to the Iowa Republican caucuses last night, Rick Perry has taken a moment to think about his campaign,the Michele Bachmann scream machine has grown subdued, and Rick Santorum suddenly seems like a legitimate contender.
This is all so terribly wrong.
In general, I view caucuses/primaries as meaningless -- after all, what do the opinions of randos on the other side of the country have to do with me? -- but Iowa's last night shouldn't affect ANYTHING. 120,000 people in a state of 3 million voted. Even accounting for those ineligible to participate (Democrats, kids who won't be 18 by November)... clearly only the truly zealous Republicans bothered with it. It should have little to no bearing on the race as a whole. The state of Iowa is different from many other parts of the country: According to the Census Bureau, Iowa is about 91% white, while less than three percent of the population is black and less than four percent is Hispanic. Native Americans and Asians combined are a mere two percent of the population. Iowa is often generally seen as a swing state: Since 1984, Iowans have on average voted around 40-45% Republican in presidential elections. Their caucus does very little to demonstrate how Iowa's voters will perform in the general election.
Therefore, it really shouldn't matter to Rick Perry that things didn't go his way. As much as I hate to say it, Bachmann shouldn't have quit based on this one result. And the biggest problem of all: Rick Santorum's second-place finish can likely be attribute to his single-minded dedication to the state of Iowa. While other candidates have spent time in New Hampshire already and have spoken in various other locations, wooing the nation as a whole the entire time, Santorum has been hitting the pavement in Iowa only. He visited every county. He meet as many Iowans as possible. He won't be able to repeat that in other states; he won't be able to root out the minority that loves him. His strong showing comes at a steep price.
But none of this matters. The media, and the candidates, pretend like Iowa's results mean something significant. Some commentators point out that past winners in Iowa (see: Mike Huckabee) flame out long before their party convention, while others who fail in Iowa (see: John McCain) ultimately capture the nomination. So why should the decisions of one relatively small and homogeneous state affect the race for the rest of us? Why should we care?
The answer is simple. Iowa shouldn't affect the rest of us, and the rest of us shouldn't feel compelled to care. We should focus on watching the remaining debates and continuing to research candidates to find out their real agendas. And when we find a satisfactory choice, we should throw our weight behind that candidate, no matter what his/her party affiliation. We should each vote for the principles we each think are most important to the nation. That, my friends, is democracy.
As Americans Elect proclaims, vote for a person. Not a party. Think critically, y'all. Don't be afraid to assert yourselves as citizens.
This is all so terribly wrong.
In general, I view caucuses/primaries as meaningless -- after all, what do the opinions of randos on the other side of the country have to do with me? -- but Iowa's last night shouldn't affect ANYTHING. 120,000 people in a state of 3 million voted. Even accounting for those ineligible to participate (Democrats, kids who won't be 18 by November)... clearly only the truly zealous Republicans bothered with it. It should have little to no bearing on the race as a whole. The state of Iowa is different from many other parts of the country: According to the Census Bureau, Iowa is about 91% white, while less than three percent of the population is black and less than four percent is Hispanic. Native Americans and Asians combined are a mere two percent of the population. Iowa is often generally seen as a swing state: Since 1984, Iowans have on average voted around 40-45% Republican in presidential elections. Their caucus does very little to demonstrate how Iowa's voters will perform in the general election.
Therefore, it really shouldn't matter to Rick Perry that things didn't go his way. As much as I hate to say it, Bachmann shouldn't have quit based on this one result. And the biggest problem of all: Rick Santorum's second-place finish can likely be attribute to his single-minded dedication to the state of Iowa. While other candidates have spent time in New Hampshire already and have spoken in various other locations, wooing the nation as a whole the entire time, Santorum has been hitting the pavement in Iowa only. He visited every county. He meet as many Iowans as possible. He won't be able to repeat that in other states; he won't be able to root out the minority that loves him. His strong showing comes at a steep price.
But none of this matters. The media, and the candidates, pretend like Iowa's results mean something significant. Some commentators point out that past winners in Iowa (see: Mike Huckabee) flame out long before their party convention, while others who fail in Iowa (see: John McCain) ultimately capture the nomination. So why should the decisions of one relatively small and homogeneous state affect the race for the rest of us? Why should we care?
The answer is simple. Iowa shouldn't affect the rest of us, and the rest of us shouldn't feel compelled to care. We should focus on watching the remaining debates and continuing to research candidates to find out their real agendas. And when we find a satisfactory choice, we should throw our weight behind that candidate, no matter what his/her party affiliation. We should each vote for the principles we each think are most important to the nation. That, my friends, is democracy.
As Americans Elect proclaims, vote for a person. Not a party. Think critically, y'all. Don't be afraid to assert yourselves as citizens.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Hello again.
So I kind of haven't posted since July 2011. First semester of college is indeed a serious time for transition.
But now I'm back and I am FIRED UP about politics and pop culture and society in general. I'm currently posting everywhere about this, but it's super exciting. I've been a member of the Americans Elect project since August but I am now officially part of the team as a campus leader for the University of Alabama. It's an extremely innovative and awesome initiative to give the power to the voters instead of the parties and the media. I can't wait to see how things go.
Wish me luck!
But now I'm back and I am FIRED UP about politics and pop culture and society in general. I'm currently posting everywhere about this, but it's super exciting. I've been a member of the Americans Elect project since August but I am now officially part of the team as a campus leader for the University of Alabama. It's an extremely innovative and awesome initiative to give the power to the voters instead of the parties and the media. I can't wait to see how things go.
Wish me luck!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Ron Paul's New Ad: Convincing?
Ron Paul released his "Conviction" ad today (embedded video at Slate). The basic premise: Compromise is a very bad thing.
I should hope to assume that the false dilemma Paul presents of "Compromise vs. Conviction" extends only to the debt ceiling debate, but someone as passionate at Paul can be expected to make this mantra something of a campaign slogan. I fail to understand how he can outright reject the idea of "compromise" when he's running for a position that is, at least in my view, ideally not bipartisan, but nonpartisan.
Don't get me wrong, heading into the 2008 election's campaign season I dearly loved Ron Paul. But the Tea Party seems to have changed him. Now that he's gaining more credibility and traction in the mainstream media, he seems to be devolving into a grandstanding right-winger -- not the kind of candidate who can survive the general election, therefore not the kind who deserves the nomination.
The major failing of the GOP so far (and this discussion will undoubtedly be a theme with me) is that they have no foresight. Yeah, sure, Bachmann's popular with the uberconservatives. But what about the rest of America? Heck, what about the rest of the party? Socially conservative policies are clearly not what America wants; the Republicans need to slide a bit to the left and deal with it. Otherwise they continue their trend of hypocrisy.
In order to stop this from being absurdly long, I'll leave a to-do list in case there were some gaps.
Things to elaborate on later:
1. Why we need to stop taking consummate conservatives seriously
2. Why the GOP needs to become essentially libertarian
3. Pros and cons of "pledges" and campaign promises that leave no room for flip-flopping
Any thoughts on the ad or Paul's campaign?
(Or anything else?)
I should hope to assume that the false dilemma Paul presents of "Compromise vs. Conviction" extends only to the debt ceiling debate, but someone as passionate at Paul can be expected to make this mantra something of a campaign slogan. I fail to understand how he can outright reject the idea of "compromise" when he's running for a position that is, at least in my view, ideally not bipartisan, but nonpartisan.
Don't get me wrong, heading into the 2008 election's campaign season I dearly loved Ron Paul. But the Tea Party seems to have changed him. Now that he's gaining more credibility and traction in the mainstream media, he seems to be devolving into a grandstanding right-winger -- not the kind of candidate who can survive the general election, therefore not the kind who deserves the nomination.
The major failing of the GOP so far (and this discussion will undoubtedly be a theme with me) is that they have no foresight. Yeah, sure, Bachmann's popular with the uberconservatives. But what about the rest of America? Heck, what about the rest of the party? Socially conservative policies are clearly not what America wants; the Republicans need to slide a bit to the left and deal with it. Otherwise they continue their trend of hypocrisy.
In order to stop this from being absurdly long, I'll leave a to-do list in case there were some gaps.
Things to elaborate on later:
1. Why we need to stop taking consummate conservatives seriously
2. Why the GOP needs to become essentially libertarian
3. Pros and cons of "pledges" and campaign promises that leave no room for flip-flopping
Any thoughts on the ad or Paul's campaign?
(Or anything else?)
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
New Project?
Hey, y'all.
I'm been thinking a lot about my future and such, and today I hit upon an idea I may pursue. I'm going to begin pulling together my various political theories into a book of some sort, a kind of intro to contemporary issues for Americans. As I work on various sections, I'll post excerpts.
Wish me luck!
I'm been thinking a lot about my future and such, and today I hit upon an idea I may pursue. I'm going to begin pulling together my various political theories into a book of some sort, a kind of intro to contemporary issues for Americans. As I work on various sections, I'll post excerpts.
Wish me luck!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Michele Bachmann, You're An Idiot. Rick Santorum... You're Santorum.
Today I saw a post about Michele Bachmann's new Family Leader marriage pledge (PDF can be downloaded here -- it's good for a laugh and you want to go through the whole thing). Apparently it's drafted by some conservative organization in Iowa for candidates to sign. Bachmann and Santorum are the first two to put their Paul Reveres* to the page. I'll hit the highlights.
I have to point out that the first sentence cites "classical philosophers." Who were kind of known for loving some pederasty. Which consists of sexual relationships between old dudes and adolescent boys. But okay.
Bigots say: "anti-scientific bias which holds, in complete absence of empirical proof, that non-heterosexual inclinations are genetically determined, irresistible and akin to innate traits like race, gender and eye color; as well as anti-scientific bi...as which holds, against all empirical evidence, that homosexual behavior in particular, and sexual promiscuity in general, optimizes individual or public health."
I have to point out that the first sentence cites "classical philosophers." Who were kind of known for loving some pederasty. Which consists of sexual relationships between old dudes and adolescent boys. But okay.
Bigots say: "anti-scientific bias which holds, in complete absence of empirical proof, that non-heterosexual inclinations are genetically determined, irresistible and akin to innate traits like race, gender and eye color; as well as anti-scientific bi...as which holds, against all empirical evidence, that homosexual behavior in particular, and sexual promiscuity in general, optimizes individual or public health."
I say: What's wrong with this argument? Hmm.
1. If we want to go with empirical proof on genetic determination, results would be... inconclusive. But if we just want to go with empirical, since she loves that word, then yes, actually, many with "non-heterosexual inclinations" certainly didn't ask for them.
2. Still waiting on the logic behind choosing to be gay in a world populated and, unfortunately, often ruled by the likes of Michele Bachmann.
3. "Homosexual behavior in particular, and sexual promiscuity in general" -- how the heck does homosexuality automatically qualify as promiscuity? Oh wait, it doesn't. Gay people aren't actually less human than their straight peers, and therefore have that whole monogamy thing sometimes too. EMPIRICALLY, plenty of homosexual couples have long-term monogamous relationships.
4. If we are using this premise that "Faithful monogamy is at the very heart of a designed and purposeful order" -- well, turns out gays can actually fit into that picture after all.
1. If we want to go with empirical proof on genetic determination, results would be... inconclusive. But if we just want to go with empirical, since she loves that word, then yes, actually, many with "non-heterosexual inclinations" certainly didn't ask for them.
2. Still waiting on the logic behind choosing to be gay in a world populated and, unfortunately, often ruled by the likes of Michele Bachmann.
3. "Homosexual behavior in particular, and sexual promiscuity in general" -- how the heck does homosexuality automatically qualify as promiscuity? Oh wait, it doesn't. Gay people aren't actually less human than their straight peers, and therefore have that whole monogamy thing sometimes too. EMPIRICALLY, plenty of homosexual couples have long-term monogamous relationships.
4. If we are using this premise that "Faithful monogamy is at the very heart of a designed and purposeful order" -- well, turns out gays can actually fit into that picture after all.
Bigots say: "I do hereby solemnly vow to honor and to cherish, to defend and to uphold, the Institution of Marriage as only between one man and one woman. I vow to do so through my:
- Vigorous opposition to any redefinition of the Institution of Marriage – faithful monogamy between one man and one woman – through statutory-, bureaucratic-, or court-imposed recognition of intimate unions which are bigamous..., polygamous, polyandrous, same-sex, etc.
- Recognition of the overwhelming statistical evidence that married people enjoy better health, better sex, longer lives, greater financial stability, and that children raised by a mother and a father together experience better learning, less addiction, less legal trouble, and less extramarital pregnancy."
Bigots add to this list: "Fierce defense of the First Amendment's rights of Religious Liberty and Freedom of Speech, especially against the intolerance of any who would undermine law-abiding American citizens and institutions of faith and conscience for their adherence to, and defense of, faithful heterosexual monogamy."
I say: ...funny, since that means we logically also can't undermine law-abiding American citizens for accepting homosexual monogamy? Otherwise we'd be imposing part of the population's religious beliefs on the entire nation's political freedoms... and that can't be right! After all, the pledge also includes "Official fidelity to the U.S. Constitution." Which caused me to raise an eyebrow at "a federal Marriage Amendment to the U.S. Constitution which protects the definition of marriage as between one man and one woman in all of the United States" because, well, why is a religious denomination's definition the end-all, be-all for all of America?
This pledge speaks to the consuming, overwhelming hypocrisy of conservatives in America. When it's convenient, they stomp and swear about their individual rights; when you want to take their guns or their prayers. And don't get me wrong, I'm all for letting responsible individuals buy their own guns and commit to their own religions. But I don't conveniently cut these rights off past the point where I personally need them. I don't currently own a gun, but I have no issue with others buying them. I don't currently have a desire to marry my (non-existent) same-sex lover; but millions of people do. So let them.
As much as these conservatives will say, "Marriage is for one-man, one-woman, monogamously. Infidelity is as unacceptable as all this other stuff," they're not walking the walk. If they were, they'd be trying to outlaw divorce just as fiercely as gay marriage.
You may think that's ridiculous. But that's the point. And fanaticism generally is pretty incredible. But see, these conservatives, the Bachmanns and the Santorums, make noise about how awful adultery is, but at the end of the day they're supporting the rights of straight people to get married and do whatever the heck they want in that marriage, whereas two people in a truly committed, loving relationship can be barred from that sort of legally recognized monogamous relationship because, what, they're gay? They can say God doesn't like gays, but he also doesn't care much for liars or hypocrites.
Americans need to stand up to the far right and their "marriage protection" and their condescension toward the rest of us and tell them: Empirically, this is not okay.
*Yes, I know, it's John Hancock. But in honor of Michelle Bachmann I figured I should be historically inaccurate.
UPDATE: Governor Gary Johnson, my current personal favorite GOP candidate, posted this response to the pledge: http://www.garyjohnson2012.com/gary-johnson-calls-family-leader-pledge-offensive-and-unrepublican.
He's one of the few to comment on how awful the whole thing is.
UPDATE: Governor Gary Johnson, my current personal favorite GOP candidate, posted this response to the pledge: http://www.garyjohnson2012.com/gary-johnson-calls-family-leader-pledge-offensive-and-unrepublican.
He's one of the few to comment on how awful the whole thing is.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Insomnia + Libertarianism + The Future
Hey, y'all.
I really don't know why I'm awake right now seeing as I did not go to sleep at all last night, but whatever. I'm a lil' bit of an insomniac.
I'm thinking I'll do some talking about presidential candidates pretty soon, including my personal fave, GOP "classical liberal"/libertarian (his term/everyone else's) Gary Johnson. He was a successful two term president of New Mexico and he's awesome. This article from The Atlantic features the video he put together after CNN, in an epic bout of c***-blocking (WHOA I CENSORED MYSELF), barred him from their debate in mid-June. I personally tried real hard to watch the debate, but I was in a sports bar in Dallas at the time and the one TV that was on CNN was muted. So essentially we read the questions and debated whether Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann is hotter (an entirely relative debate, keep in mind).
I might go into offering info on other candidates here as a sort of... public service?
I'll also probably ramble about my college and life plans. It'll be excited. And as I start working on reviews for entertainment-y stuff, those will pop up.
See y'all around.
I really don't know why I'm awake right now seeing as I did not go to sleep at all last night, but whatever. I'm a lil' bit of an insomniac.
I'm thinking I'll do some talking about presidential candidates pretty soon, including my personal fave, GOP "classical liberal"/libertarian (his term/everyone else's) Gary Johnson. He was a successful two term president of New Mexico and he's awesome. This article from The Atlantic features the video he put together after CNN, in an epic bout of c***-blocking (WHOA I CENSORED MYSELF), barred him from their debate in mid-June. I personally tried real hard to watch the debate, but I was in a sports bar in Dallas at the time and the one TV that was on CNN was muted. So essentially we read the questions and debated whether Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann is hotter (an entirely relative debate, keep in mind).
I might go into offering info on other candidates here as a sort of... public service?
I'll also probably ramble about my college and life plans. It'll be excited. And as I start working on reviews for entertainment-y stuff, those will pop up.
See y'all around.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Album review: Maybe you've been brainwashed too., by the New Radicals
(This album is my life right now. I've listened to it like eight times in the past day and a half? Anyway, I bought it recently and for some reason yesterday the love turned into full blown obsession and I went ahead and wrote up a review.)
New Radicals frontman Gregg Alexander declares, "You're a heart attack, just the kind I like," in "Mother we just can't get enough," the opening track to the band's first and only album, "Maybe you've been brainwashed too." As indicated by the distinctive stylization of the titles of the album and songs (none of which feature the capitalization generally used in titles), this band is something different. And that line sums up the album pretty well. "Brainwashed" is, in turns, loud, sad, lovely, and outright strange. Its messages are both universal and very specifically social and political.
For the rest, go to:
http://www.helium.com/items/2172410-maybe-youve-been-brainwashed-too-review
And seriously, buy the freaking album. I suggest the CD so you can have the physical booklet. It's amazing.
New Radicals frontman Gregg Alexander declares, "You're a heart attack, just the kind I like," in "Mother we just can't get enough," the opening track to the band's first and only album, "Maybe you've been brainwashed too." As indicated by the distinctive stylization of the titles of the album and songs (none of which feature the capitalization generally used in titles), this band is something different. And that line sums up the album pretty well. "Brainwashed" is, in turns, loud, sad, lovely, and outright strange. Its messages are both universal and very specifically social and political.
For the rest, go to:
http://www.helium.com/items/2172410-maybe-youve-been-brainwashed-too-review
And seriously, buy the freaking album. I suggest the CD so you can have the physical booklet. It's amazing.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thoughts About the Future
Howdy.
It's weird. I was thinking about this blog and my first failed blog and how I might start writing about politics and such again. Then I thought, "Well, I can't possibly do that on a blog called 'Death of a Loved One.' That's just absurd!". But is it absurd? Or is it... brilliant?
Is the late loved one, in fact, the American spirit? The future that all of us young folks are supposed to represent? Wouldn't I be writing to try to resurrect that loved one?
Yes. Yes, I would.
We'll see where this goes.
But don't worry... I'll totally still talk about Lauren Conrad.
It's weird. I was thinking about this blog and my first failed blog and how I might start writing about politics and such again. Then I thought, "Well, I can't possibly do that on a blog called 'Death of a Loved One.' That's just absurd!". But is it absurd? Or is it... brilliant?
Is the late loved one, in fact, the American spirit? The future that all of us young folks are supposed to represent? Wouldn't I be writing to try to resurrect that loved one?
Yes. Yes, I would.
We'll see where this goes.
But don't worry... I'll totally still talk about Lauren Conrad.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Uh... hey.
So, listen, I know I haven't really been in touch --
Ok, yeah, I know it's been like four months --
Of course, you have every right to be upset with me --
I'm going to stop there because, while I'm sure the Internet is digging my pseudoapology, no "real people" are reading it. So I could say just about anything...
But I won't.
The point is, I'll try to do better if you give me a second chance. I'll make reading this blog the most mind blowing experience you've had since Inception. Which I still haven't seen. Anywhos, you'll come to wish for some Death of a Loved One action allthetime. Scout's honor!
Ok, yeah, I know it's been like four months --
Of course, you have every right to be upset with me --
I'm going to stop there because, while I'm sure the Internet is digging my pseudoapology, no "real people" are reading it. So I could say just about anything...
But I won't.
The point is, I'll try to do better if you give me a second chance. I'll make reading this blog the most mind blowing experience you've had since Inception. Which I still haven't seen. Anywhos, you'll come to wish for some Death of a Loved One action allthetime. Scout's honor!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Inception Post the Second
So basically I'm the only person in the entire fricking world who hasn't seen Inception.
Right?
Buttttt. I will see it. Real soon. Family outing. And I look forward to comparing it with my predictions. I'm guessing I was totally completely 100% spot on and thus will be the only person not shocked.
Except not.
Right?
Buttttt. I will see it. Real soon. Family outing. And I look forward to comparing it with my predictions. I'm guessing I was totally completely 100% spot on and thus will be the only person not shocked.
Except not.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Staphylococcus aureus is my new BFF.
Dat's right, peeps. I went and got myself another staph infection.
It's pretty grody, not gonna lie. And this time it's on BOTH legs. Which is. . . ridic. But what's even worse (better?) is the pattern I'm beginning to establish. If I can only get a third, this will be statistically feasible.
Summer reading for high school English gives me staph infections.
How? I don't know. But somehow, whenever I venture outside in the summer (ok, so both times in the last two years) to read, this happens. The summer before tenth grade I was innocently reading The Joy Luck Club and as I recall I was doing some major hating on one of the characters and then I came inside and later I realized I had a very oddly placed and specific sunburn.
Long story, short: STAPH INFECTION.
This has just repeated itself with The Awakening even though I like all the characters. Booooo.
Worst part is, I can't go to the doctor for like another two days so I could very well die and that is not in my life plan so. Let's hope it doesn't happen. The good news is I found my BACTROBAN!!!! from my previous staph infection and it seems to be helping. That's a topical ointment thingy for all y'all non-staph connoisseurs out thurr.
I'm sure some legit staph connoisseurs do exist.
Like, it's their hobby. They're not even scientists or doctors or anything.
Moving on, methinks I'll discuss DEGRASSI TAKES MANHATTAN later because um yeah like what. I mean I liked it and all but I was a bit thrown by the marriage and twincest. Even if I liked those too. And it's not my fault they made two of the most attractive people siblings.
It's HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL all over again.
Except not...
It's pretty grody, not gonna lie. And this time it's on BOTH legs. Which is. . . ridic. But what's even worse (better?) is the pattern I'm beginning to establish. If I can only get a third, this will be statistically feasible.
Summer reading for high school English gives me staph infections.
How? I don't know. But somehow, whenever I venture outside in the summer (ok, so both times in the last two years) to read, this happens. The summer before tenth grade I was innocently reading The Joy Luck Club and as I recall I was doing some major hating on one of the characters and then I came inside and later I realized I had a very oddly placed and specific sunburn.
Long story, short: STAPH INFECTION.
This has just repeated itself with The Awakening even though I like all the characters. Booooo.
Worst part is, I can't go to the doctor for like another two days so I could very well die and that is not in my life plan so. Let's hope it doesn't happen. The good news is I found my BACTROBAN!!!! from my previous staph infection and it seems to be helping. That's a topical ointment thingy for all y'all non-staph connoisseurs out thurr.
I'm sure some legit staph connoisseurs do exist.
Like, it's their hobby. They're not even scientists or doctors or anything.
Moving on, methinks I'll discuss DEGRASSI TAKES MANHATTAN later because um yeah like what. I mean I liked it and all but I was a bit thrown by the marriage and twincest. Even if I liked those too. And it's not my fault they made two of the most attractive people siblings.
It's HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL all over again.
Except not...
Saturday, July 17, 2010
I am so tired.
So basically this is how all my summers go:
Until the end of May, I'm going to sleep by 11, waking up by 9, finding something productive to do, and everything is hunky dory (you can tell I'm tired when I dare to say hunky dory). Then one night for whatever reason I stay up past my bedtime and for the rest of the summer I don't go to bed until after three in the morning.
IT REALLY, REALLY SUCKS.
This year it was because one night I had a panic attack about college and I stayed up till like 4 a.m. on College Confidential which is a great resource if you have a few questions but an extremely dangerous rabbit hole if you're completely freaking insane like I am.
These days I'm up till God knows how early/late checking to see if anyone's reading my blog (they're not), if Books-A-Million's ever going to respond to my job application (they're not), or if my eyes will just jump ship because they can't take it anymore (jury's still out on that one).
Oh, and I also play the creepiest game ever.
At 3 in the morning.
So there are ghosts and shit jumping out at me refusing to be sent back to wherever they came from and all I wanna do is make it up the mountain but I'm tired and vicariously cold and once again IT REALLY, REALLY SUCKS.
My life, that is. The game's actually pretty cool and was surprisingly cheap so I can excuse it for freaking me out especially since my parents are on this whole "limiting how much money they give me thing." Because it's my fault I'm unemployable? Pssh. Anyway. I should know better than to think, "Hey, it's 3:12, let me pop in Cursed Mountain for a spot of pre-bed fun. I'll warm up some milk too!" I mean really.
Clearly, I have mad critical thinking skillz.
Except... not.
Until the end of May, I'm going to sleep by 11, waking up by 9, finding something productive to do, and everything is hunky dory (you can tell I'm tired when I dare to say hunky dory). Then one night for whatever reason I stay up past my bedtime and for the rest of the summer I don't go to bed until after three in the morning.
IT REALLY, REALLY SUCKS.
This year it was because one night I had a panic attack about college and I stayed up till like 4 a.m. on College Confidential which is a great resource if you have a few questions but an extremely dangerous rabbit hole if you're completely freaking insane like I am.
These days I'm up till God knows how early/late checking to see if anyone's reading my blog (they're not), if Books-A-Million's ever going to respond to my job application (they're not), or if my eyes will just jump ship because they can't take it anymore (jury's still out on that one).
Oh, and I also play the creepiest game ever.
At 3 in the morning.
So there are ghosts and shit jumping out at me refusing to be sent back to wherever they came from and all I wanna do is make it up the mountain but I'm tired and vicariously cold and once again IT REALLY, REALLY SUCKS.
My life, that is. The game's actually pretty cool and was surprisingly cheap so I can excuse it for freaking me out especially since my parents are on this whole "limiting how much money they give me thing." Because it's my fault I'm unemployable? Pssh. Anyway. I should know better than to think, "Hey, it's 3:12, let me pop in Cursed Mountain for a spot of pre-bed fun. I'll warm up some milk too!" I mean really.
Clearly, I have mad critical thinking skillz.
Except... not.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Welcome to Song Parody Thursday! #1 - "Love Story" by Taylor Swift
So basically I was like, "How do I begin this song parody business? What have I gotten myself into?" Then I realized I should just relax. Write what I know. And what I know is Taylor Swift.
One day maybe I'll detail my ardent love for T-Swift, who is for totes my hero. As it stands, today I will only present you with these lyrics. I'd sing em for you, but, you know, I'm really very bad at that.
"Too Gory"
I was so young and a bit stupid too.
Closing my eyes at the scary parts,
I'm sitting there,
Nervous and cold in conditioned air.
Dim the lights,
The movie starts as they go down.
Sound kicks in, the music is so loud
Can I still go?
Little did I know. . .
That I'd be screaming "no," with my face dripping sweat
as the ax killer ran after Juliet.
I'd have to cover half my face,
begging her, "Please don't go!"
And I said,
No one would take me,
So I came to see this alone.
Now I'm shaking.
This film really isn't fun.
I no longer care just who I might impress,
This movie's too gory,
I've become a hot mess.
I sneak out, I need to breathe and pee too,
I could leave now, not see this thing through.
I close my eyes,
tell myself I'll be alright.
I'm still screaming "no," and it's not getting better
Ax killer's still chasing after Juliet,
This is too much for me,
as I'm begging her, "Please don't go!"
And I said,
No one would take me,
So I came to see this alone.
Now I'm shaking.
This film really isn't fun.
I no longer care just who I might impress,
This movie's too gory,
I've become a hot mess.
Somebody save me,
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.
It's difficult to accept that it's not real,
Hang on, though, seriously, I think I must confess
This movie's too gory,
I've become a hot mess.
I got tired of waiting
after all it was critically renowned.
First legal R film was baiting,
I thought I had to go see it now. . .
But I'll say,
Somebody save me,
I shouldn't have seen this alone
I keep waiting for the freaking end to come.
Is it really so bad? I don't know what to think,
The killer's ax is in the air for its final swing --
I said,
"Run away, Juliet!
Or your head will be alone!
He's gonna murder you
And that's all I really know."
Spoiler alert, the end is something you would never guess,
But the film is too gory
And it left me a hot mess.
Oh, oh, ohhhh. No, no, no.
I was so young and a bit stupid too. . .
So there you have it. The harrowing tale of a 17-year-old seeing her first R-rated movie alone and very nearly wetting herself.
Useless self-important plug: I have some "practice" songs (e.g. not terribly good lyrics I threw together) over here: http://www.helium.com/users/219561/show_articles?channel=24
They're not parodies, but if you can track down "The Pick-Up Song" it's fairly amusing.
Alrighty, well, I'll be back at a later time. Hope you like the song!
One day maybe I'll detail my ardent love for T-Swift, who is for totes my hero. As it stands, today I will only present you with these lyrics. I'd sing em for you, but, you know, I'm really very bad at that.
"Too Gory"
I was so young and a bit stupid too.
Closing my eyes at the scary parts,
I'm sitting there,
Nervous and cold in conditioned air.
Dim the lights,
The movie starts as they go down.
Sound kicks in, the music is so loud
Can I still go?
Little did I know. . .
That I'd be screaming "no," with my face dripping sweat
as the ax killer ran after Juliet.
I'd have to cover half my face,
begging her, "Please don't go!"
And I said,
No one would take me,
So I came to see this alone.
Now I'm shaking.
This film really isn't fun.
I no longer care just who I might impress,
This movie's too gory,
I've become a hot mess.
I sneak out, I need to breathe and pee too,
I could leave now, not see this thing through.
I close my eyes,
tell myself I'll be alright.
I'm still screaming "no," and it's not getting better
Ax killer's still chasing after Juliet,
This is too much for me,
as I'm begging her, "Please don't go!"
And I said,
No one would take me,
So I came to see this alone.
Now I'm shaking.
This film really isn't fun.
I no longer care just who I might impress,
This movie's too gory,
I've become a hot mess.
Somebody save me,
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.
It's difficult to accept that it's not real,
Hang on, though, seriously, I think I must confess
This movie's too gory,
I've become a hot mess.
I got tired of waiting
after all it was critically renowned.
First legal R film was baiting,
I thought I had to go see it now. . .
But I'll say,
Somebody save me,
I shouldn't have seen this alone
I keep waiting for the freaking end to come.
Is it really so bad? I don't know what to think,
The killer's ax is in the air for its final swing --
I said,
"Run away, Juliet!
Or your head will be alone!
He's gonna murder you
And that's all I really know."
Spoiler alert, the end is something you would never guess,
But the film is too gory
And it left me a hot mess.
Oh, oh, ohhhh. No, no, no.
I was so young and a bit stupid too. . .
So there you have it. The harrowing tale of a 17-year-old seeing her first R-rated movie alone and very nearly wetting herself.
Useless self-important plug: I have some "practice" songs (e.g. not terribly good lyrics I threw together) over here: http://www.helium.com/users/219561/show_articles?channel=24
They're not parodies, but if you can track down "The Pick-Up Song" it's fairly amusing.
Alrighty, well, I'll be back at a later time. Hope you like the song!
I wish I lived in a musical.
Sometimes.
Just a lil bit.
Because really, when you think about it, how totally freakin sweet would it be to burst into song about having no soap in the school bathroom or wanting to go see a movie or about. . . MISSING THE HILLS?!?
And of course you'd always sound amazing because Auto-Tune is just a natural part of any 21st century musical phenomenon and oh my goodness, I'm in love with this idea.
First day of school, I'm singing about how much I hate the god awful new uniforms. Because, seriously, we're wearing Gryffindor colors and it just looks awkward. Yellow shirts are rarely if ever okay.
I'm so excited now! Except I have to read The Awakening and Tess and it's a hot tranny mess. Still I'll do my best, expect nothing less and holy crap I could win a Tony.
Except not.
Just a lil bit.
Because really, when you think about it, how totally freakin sweet would it be to burst into song about having no soap in the school bathroom or wanting to go see a movie or about. . . MISSING THE HILLS?!?
And of course you'd always sound amazing because Auto-Tune is just a natural part of any 21st century musical phenomenon and oh my goodness, I'm in love with this idea.
First day of school, I'm singing about how much I hate the god awful new uniforms. Because, seriously, we're wearing Gryffindor colors and it just looks awkward. Yellow shirts are rarely if ever okay.
I'm so excited now! Except I have to read The Awakening and Tess and it's a hot tranny mess. Still I'll do my best, expect nothing less and holy crap I could win a Tony.
Except not.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
An Idea.
So basically, (non-existent) readers, I have this idea for something I might do on this blog.
Then of course I realized it doesn't, like, matter what I do with this blog because no one reads it so I could theoretically go all Mel Gibson and throw around some racial slurs and offensive terms only I'm biracial and a semi-professional fag hag so I have no idea who I can hate.
Maybe the Canadians... lol, jk, invisible Canadians. I love the idea of Canada. I wanna hang out in Vancouver real bad.
Anyway.
The idea.
I'm thinking about a regular feature to make things interesting. And I'm thinking. . . Song Parody Wednesdays! Or Thursdays. Haven't decided yet.
Any thoughts, (non-existent) followers?
. . .hmm, that's what I thought. I'll be back laterrrr with a treat. :)
Then of course I realized it doesn't, like, matter what I do with this blog because no one reads it so I could theoretically go all Mel Gibson and throw around some racial slurs and offensive terms only I'm biracial and a semi-professional fag hag so I have no idea who I can hate.
Maybe the Canadians... lol, jk, invisible Canadians. I love the idea of Canada. I wanna hang out in Vancouver real bad.
Anyway.
The idea.
I'm thinking about a regular feature to make things interesting. And I'm thinking. . . Song Parody Wednesdays! Or Thursdays. Haven't decided yet.
Any thoughts, (non-existent) followers?
. . .hmm, that's what I thought. I'll be back laterrrr with a treat. :)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Another Hills post because now it's over and this would just be pathetic after tonight.
OK. OKOKOK. Ok.
So basically THE HILLS series finale and reunion were like forreal intense. Why? Let's discuss.
First, the actual finale was not intense at all. It was just as boring as the rest of season 6 and I was barely paying attention. However, I really enjoyed the convo at the beginning about a "mid-20 life crisis" and "deciding who we want to be." In my mind, Lauren was laughing hysterically as she popped out of the bushes, catching her breath just so she could say, "Well, bitches, I'm a best-selling author. Ball's in your court."
Then errbody moved. Audrina like five minutes away, Kristin to EUROPE. Dat's a big change, y'all. Real big. I guess they realized they're not figuratively going anywhere so they just decided to do it literally? All I know is it was not interesting.
At some point I think Lo's bf (Scott?) proposed. However, I am not at all sure because it was really hard to hear over the sound of my body shutting down due to the stress of the sheer boredom I had put it through in watching.
Then there was a montage and I was like OMG LAUREN HEY. And I got excited. Then it was back to Kristin and Brody, yawn, and I was like, Holy crap, is this supposed to be a sad version of 'Unwritten.'
You can't make 'Unwritten' sad. Jsyk. It's like the most uplifting song ever.
And then I started freaking out. Because those jerks ended THE HILLS with Brody Jenner. WHY.
Finally, of course, the thing happened.
You know what I mean.
All of a sudden, the shot goes wide, they're on a set, WHATTTTT.
Was it all a lie? Did I invest four years of my life for nothing? The world will never know! (I suspect we'll know at some point.)
Anywho, reunion.
Holly's pretty. I like her. She cried. It was sad. But not really.
Stephanie and Lo are still kinda boring though at least Lo finally admitted she's a jerk. And she said it with a mildly bitchy laugh too!
I'll skip to Kristin and Brody. That was not productive. And they avoided the question about the ending, only saying it was "exciting" to shoot, so I didn't really care.
WHITNEY EVE PORT. Let's talk about hurr real quick like.
All I gotta say is: Those. Legs.
Tell me they aren't beautiful.
Everything else relevant to her is in the realm of THE CITY now. Which, incidentally, I watched but did not comprehend because I was so confused by the ending of THE HILLS.
And finally, Lauren Conrad. LC. "The girl who started it all," they call her.
She was pretty and wonderful as usual. The best part though? They showed her books. All four. Way to rub it in, MTV. I approve.
Well, that was the night, essentially. I'm rewatching the finale of THE HILLS. It's slightly better this time around.
If you don't have this song, beeteedubs, your life is not complete.
So basically THE HILLS series finale and reunion were like forreal intense. Why? Let's discuss.
First, the actual finale was not intense at all. It was just as boring as the rest of season 6 and I was barely paying attention. However, I really enjoyed the convo at the beginning about a "mid-20 life crisis" and "deciding who we want to be." In my mind, Lauren was laughing hysterically as she popped out of the bushes, catching her breath just so she could say, "Well, bitches, I'm a best-selling author. Ball's in your court."
Then errbody moved. Audrina like five minutes away, Kristin to EUROPE. Dat's a big change, y'all. Real big. I guess they realized they're not figuratively going anywhere so they just decided to do it literally? All I know is it was not interesting.
At some point I think Lo's bf (Scott?) proposed. However, I am not at all sure because it was really hard to hear over the sound of my body shutting down due to the stress of the sheer boredom I had put it through in watching.
Then there was a montage and I was like OMG LAUREN HEY. And I got excited. Then it was back to Kristin and Brody, yawn, and I was like, Holy crap, is this supposed to be a sad version of 'Unwritten.'
You can't make 'Unwritten' sad. Jsyk. It's like the most uplifting song ever.
And then I started freaking out. Because those jerks ended THE HILLS with Brody Jenner. WHY.
Finally, of course, the thing happened.
You know what I mean.
All of a sudden, the shot goes wide, they're on a set, WHATTTTT.
Was it all a lie? Did I invest four years of my life for nothing? The world will never know! (I suspect we'll know at some point.)
Anywho, reunion.
Holly's pretty. I like her. She cried. It was sad. But not really.
Stephanie and Lo are still kinda boring though at least Lo finally admitted she's a jerk. And she said it with a mildly bitchy laugh too!
I'll skip to Kristin and Brody. That was not productive. And they avoided the question about the ending, only saying it was "exciting" to shoot, so I didn't really care.
WHITNEY EVE PORT. Let's talk about hurr real quick like.
All I gotta say is: Those. Legs.
Tell me they aren't beautiful.
Everything else relevant to her is in the realm of THE CITY now. Which, incidentally, I watched but did not comprehend because I was so confused by the ending of THE HILLS.
And finally, Lauren Conrad. LC. "The girl who started it all," they call her.
She was pretty and wonderful as usual. The best part though? They showed her books. All four. Way to rub it in, MTV. I approve.
Well, that was the night, essentially. I'm rewatching the finale of THE HILLS. It's slightly better this time around.
If you don't have this song, beeteedubs, your life is not complete.
Inception, What the Heck Are You About?
Like, srsly.
And I mean srsly.
I keep seeing trailers for the upcoming film INCEPTION. And yet, the plot never becomes clearer. I have considered looking it up, but I really want to figure it out for myself.
I imagine this is what LOST fans felt like for 4648690 seasons. What torture.
I have so far pieced together that this film is about Leo DiCaprio, dreams, intense running, and violent gun-infused action sequences. And something called. . . um. . . Inception.
So here's what I'm thinking:
Leonardo DiCaprio plays some sort of rogue agent supposedly working for a futuristic company type thing. We'll call his character Johnny Ricardo. JRic meets a chick and he's all, "Hey, so, there's this srsly legit type deal called Inception. It'll let me see into yer mind and things. You up for it? You down for it?"
And then she's like, "Um, dude, that is so far in my bubble I don't even know what to say."
To which he replies, "I will not take 'no' for an answer."
Mind rape ensues. (Is this blog offensive yet?)
Then the future-police -- NOT, mind you, the Thought Police -- take notice and they're pretty much going, "Yo, hold up. That ain't cool, dude." So they chase down Johnny Ricardo with big gunz.
But PLOT TWIST Johnny Ricardo is pretty freakin' superhuman due to his heroin addiction. He laughs at the future-police and their guns and rides off into the sunset on a real big boat with some diamonds, yo. Because Johnny Ricardo is a big baller. But FAKE SYNOPSIS SPOILER ALERT let's just say he should not have been drinking while he was steering said real big boat because icebergs can just come out of anywhere.
I may have diverged into like three other Leonardo DiCaprio movies at some point. Ohhh well.
Now I wanna go play a Super Nintendo TMNT game. I'm always Mikey. Jsyk.
Beeteedubs, I'm usually more clever, but it's 2:34 in the morning and I'm watching FAMILY GUY.
And I mean srsly.
I keep seeing trailers for the upcoming film INCEPTION. And yet, the plot never becomes clearer. I have considered looking it up, but I really want to figure it out for myself.
I imagine this is what LOST fans felt like for 4648690 seasons. What torture.
I have so far pieced together that this film is about Leo DiCaprio, dreams, intense running, and violent gun-infused action sequences. And something called. . . um. . . Inception.
So here's what I'm thinking:
Leonardo DiCaprio plays some sort of rogue agent supposedly working for a futuristic company type thing. We'll call his character Johnny Ricardo. JRic meets a chick and he's all, "Hey, so, there's this srsly legit type deal called Inception. It'll let me see into yer mind and things. You up for it? You down for it?"
And then she's like, "Um, dude, that is so far in my bubble I don't even know what to say."
To which he replies, "I will not take 'no' for an answer."
Mind rape ensues. (Is this blog offensive yet?)
Then the future-police -- NOT, mind you, the Thought Police -- take notice and they're pretty much going, "Yo, hold up. That ain't cool, dude." So they chase down Johnny Ricardo with big gunz.
But PLOT TWIST Johnny Ricardo is pretty freakin' superhuman due to his heroin addiction. He laughs at the future-police and their guns and rides off into the sunset on a real big boat with some diamonds, yo. Because Johnny Ricardo is a big baller. But FAKE SYNOPSIS SPOILER ALERT let's just say he should not have been drinking while he was steering said real big boat because icebergs can just come out of anywhere.
I may have diverged into like three other Leonardo DiCaprio movies at some point. Ohhh well.
Now I wanna go play a Super Nintendo TMNT game. I'm always Mikey. Jsyk.
Beeteedubs, I'm usually more clever, but it's 2:34 in the morning and I'm watching FAMILY GUY.
Like, OMG, you guys. The Hills. Like, OMG.
So. . . I have a confession. From 11:00 Saturday morning to 4:30 Sunday morning I watched THE HILLS nonstop. Can you really blame me though? (Yes, you can, but let's pretend.) I simply cannot resist marathons. Especially when they gots the drama and the pretty of that show. Basically, I watched from some point in season 3 to some point in season 5.
Best THE HILLS moment ever? Um, def when Heidi and Lauren are sobbing on a yacht during the latter's birthday party. It was hilariously awkward. I could not stop laughing.
Then again, it was 4:01 a.m. so my head was not exactly on straight.
With the series finale coming up UM TONIGHT, I've been pondering the momentous question of which season of THE HILLS is the best. I kinda wanna say 4, but Whitney leaves, and that's not cool. Even though that means we got THE CITY which is truly a gift from God. (I'm just sayin, dat ish iz hawt.) Ergo, the bestest season of the bestest show everrr (except, you know, not) must be SEASON 3.
Why? Well. . .
It all comes down to People's Revolution. Whitney left and Lauren was like, "Oh noes, Whit, how will I live without you? Beeteedubs, I want your job." Then Lauren sneaked over there and secured a job at PR herself!!! And I was like, "Oh goodness, Lauren, you are a wily one." Of course they worked in NYC too and I mean yeah too cool. And then there was oodles and oodles of Kelly Cutrone and COME ON HOW DO YOU NOT LOVE THAT.
Plus there was all that illegal-Mexican-wedding drama, that Lauren-Jason-sex-tape drama, that Stephanie-how-are-you-friends-with-LC-you-disloyal-skank-and-why-do-I-still-call-her-LC, Spencer-flavored drama, and that yay-new-house-oh-wait-this-sucks drama!
So. Much. Drama.
Talk about the real O.C.
Oh wait, that's LAGUNA BEACH.
Just go with it.
If anyone wants a really intense ten or so hours of vicarious living, THE HILLS season 3 is totes the answer. And season 4's pretty darn good too.
I should probs rest up for the finale. . .
Best THE HILLS moment ever? Um, def when Heidi and Lauren are sobbing on a yacht during the latter's birthday party. It was hilariously awkward. I could not stop laughing.
Then again, it was 4:01 a.m. so my head was not exactly on straight.
With the series finale coming up UM TONIGHT, I've been pondering the momentous question of which season of THE HILLS is the best. I kinda wanna say 4, but Whitney leaves, and that's not cool. Even though that means we got THE CITY which is truly a gift from God. (I'm just sayin, dat ish iz hawt.) Ergo, the bestest season of the bestest show everrr (except, you know, not) must be SEASON 3.
Why? Well. . .
It all comes down to People's Revolution. Whitney left and Lauren was like, "Oh noes, Whit, how will I live without you? Beeteedubs, I want your job." Then Lauren sneaked over there and secured a job at PR herself!!! And I was like, "Oh goodness, Lauren, you are a wily one." Of course they worked in NYC too and I mean yeah too cool. And then there was oodles and oodles of Kelly Cutrone and COME ON HOW DO YOU NOT LOVE THAT.
Plus there was all that illegal-Mexican-wedding drama, that Lauren-Jason-sex-tape drama, that Stephanie-how-are-you-friends-with-LC-you-disloyal-skank-and-why-do-I-still-call-her-LC, Spencer-flavored drama, and that yay-new-house-oh-wait-this-sucks drama!
So. Much. Drama.
Talk about the real O.C.
Oh wait, that's LAGUNA BEACH.
Just go with it.
If anyone wants a really intense ten or so hours of vicarious living, THE HILLS season 3 is totes the answer. And season 4's pretty darn good too.
I should probs rest up for the finale. . .
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Oh noes! What a morbid name for a light-hearted blog!
If you stumbled upon this blog just like accidentally and not on purpose while you were weeping hysterically... I'm pretty sure I apologize. Out of curiosity, I searched "death of a loved one" on answers.com. The results:
1. How can I accept the death of a loved one?
2. Depression: definition, synonyms
3. Statutes of Limitations question: How long after the death of a loved one does
the executrix have to settle the estate
4. Helping Yourself and Others Deal with Death
5. How do you help someone grieving a loss of a loved one?
6. banshee: definition
7. When loved ones are taken in death
8. Grief Stages
9. What does it mean to dream about dying
10. midlife crisis: definition
Soooo... yeah. Nothing too cheerful going on up in hurr. But that's why I'm doing this. "Death of a Loved One" doesn't have to be sad! I'm taking it back. Just like Randall in Clerks II? Y'all know what I mean. His racial slur is my cause of grief!
Anyway. I don't intend to talk much about death. Unless it happens on a TV show or something fictional like that. In which case, um, preemptive spoiler alert!
Again, though, if you stumbled upon my sick joke while looking for some forreal help, I'm sorry. And I offer you my condolences. It'll get better in time and, hey, we all miss your cousin*.
:)/:(
*(And yes, that was inspired by a Daniel Tosh joke in his Completely Serious special. I loveeee him.)
1. How can I accept the death of a loved one?
2. Depression: definition, synonyms
3. Statutes of Limitations question: How long after the death of a loved one does
the executrix have to settle the estate
4. Helping Yourself and Others Deal with Death
5. How do you help someone grieving a loss of a loved one?
6. banshee: definition
7. When loved ones are taken in death
8. Grief Stages
9. What does it mean to dream about dying
10. midlife crisis: definition
Soooo... yeah. Nothing too cheerful going on up in hurr. But that's why I'm doing this. "Death of a Loved One" doesn't have to be sad! I'm taking it back. Just like Randall in Clerks II? Y'all know what I mean. His racial slur is my cause of grief!
Anyway. I don't intend to talk much about death. Unless it happens on a TV show or something fictional like that. In which case, um, preemptive spoiler alert!
Again, though, if you stumbled upon my sick joke while looking for some forreal help, I'm sorry. And I offer you my condolences. It'll get better in time and, hey, we all miss your cousin*.
:)/:(
*(And yes, that was inspired by a Daniel Tosh joke in his Completely Serious special. I loveeee him.)
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